I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
There was a lot of him and a little penis
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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