The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
