I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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