I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
my liver is dry heaving
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
