We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
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