i permit you to call me
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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