Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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