i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
