well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Randomize
