Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
