so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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