Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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