I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
