3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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