I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
