Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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