Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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