I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Acid is not a monday night drug
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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