so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
