I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
