Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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