Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize