We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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