my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
