Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
