Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
