Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
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