what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
