She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
