You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
it glows. i had to have it.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
