used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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