His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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