wat bout pragnant strippers??
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
