he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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