Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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