we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
