SEEEEXXX PLEASE
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
