I'm gonna have a badass scar
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
only you would photoshop your dick
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
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