i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
