I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
