I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
