escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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