he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
