fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He felt like a one man threesome
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
