You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize