I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
