this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize