First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
