it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I think people are normalizing furries
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
