I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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