I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
