Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
