whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My cat gives me a boner
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
