I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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