yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize