I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
