just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
