hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
