the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
