she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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