well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
