Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I am midnight drunk by noon
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
