Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I think im going to throw up on grandma
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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