So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
