If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
MIDGETS
????
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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