Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize