He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
