i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
