Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
