Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
